Ducks At A Distance

I have a joke! Sorry it is so long!?

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the desk, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a second or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your pet has passed away.”

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. The duck is dead,” he answered.

“How can you be so sure”, she protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He force just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a pair of Labrador Retrievers. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dogs stood on their hind legs, place their front paws on the examination desk and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. They then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook their heads. The vet patted the dogs, took them out of the room and returned a few moments later with a gorgeous cat. The cat jumped up on the desk and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most certainly, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, subdue in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried. “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Reports and the Cat Scan, it all adds up.”
Glad you guys liked it!
I will get more
Sorry Guys I can’t find any excellent ones. Care to share some?

Recommended Reading

Choose a Dog Based on Personality Test Findings

Adopting a dog? Consider it’s personality. Personalities among humans can clash and so it is between dogs and humans. By knowing the dog’s personality, you can avoid headaches later on.

Knowing a puppy’s personality before you commit to export or adopting him will help you to make a wise choice in selecting the right puppy for you. A personality test will help you in determining why he doesn’t accomplish certain disciplinary objectives.

Checking your puppy’s personality starts with understanding his breed, because many of his characteristics will be inherited. If you don’t know the specific breed, try to determine what breed thwart he force be and refer to those personalities to see if they fit.

There are some brilliant books in the store to help you figure out how your particular breed of dog thinks and reacts. Alternatively, you can question a breeder or your vet.

As long as your puppy is over seven weeks of age, you can get a excellent result from a personality test. The main personality types are responsive, strong willed, energetic, timid, easygoing and aggressive although you’re likely to see a mixture, depending on the mixture of breeds and the circumstances. For occasion, a dog force be easygoing around the family, but aggressive around strangers. This is common in dogs that are protective, rather than social and friendly.

Friendliness Test

The friendliness test will determine if your dog is a socializer.

Take the puppy into a silent area, free of other distractions and whine like a childish puppy or talk to him in a friendly, affectionate voice. You’re trying to see what kind of response you get. If he cocks his head to one side, becomes alert and pleased, then he has a responsive personality.

If he ignores you initially and then runs around, jumps all over you and gives you friendly barks and nips, he is a high-energy dog.

A strong willed dog will become alert and will away again barking and eventually come to you. A timid dog will whine back and bark before crawling up to you with his tail down and his ears pulled back.

An simple going dog will show be more laid back and seem not to care. He is quick to lose interest in your whining, most likely because he’s chose it really doesn’t matter to him.

If the dog lunges at you and growls with his ears and tail standing straight up (rather than curled or dropped and relaxed) he is an aggressive dog with dominant qualities. If he barks, backs away and crouches down yet remains defensive, he is showing dread aggression. Dread aggression is common in dogs that have been abused.

You can do other tests as well. You can test a dog’s sensitivity to noises, how he reacts to discipline, and how tolerant he is to pain and discomfort.

Sound Test

For the sound test, place some pennies into a tin can and shake it to see how your dog responds. Keep in mind that dogs have sensitive ears and are able to hear sounds humans can’t. This test could reveal that your puppy force have hearing problems or that he is “gun shy”.

Go away from distractions and, from half a dozen feet distance from the dog, shake the can to make a noise. Try to hide the can behind your back as seeing it force clue him in to what’s causing the noise. We want the noise to be unexpected.

A responsive dog will perk up when he hears the noise and become inquisitive about its fund. If you had rolled the can on the stump to make the noise, he would see it as a toy and start before a live audience with it.

A high-energy dog will respond to the noise, but will become easily distracted. He force even bark at the noise as if trying to scare it away.

Shy dogs will back away and decrease his ears and tail while raising the hair on the back of his neck. This is a submissive posture. It’s common for shy or timid dogs to run and hide from loud noises.

An easygoing dog will saunter up to the noise, check it out but will soon return to whatever he was doing.

An aggressive dog backs away, growls, curls his lips and will make preside over eye contact with you as if in boldness. A dread aggressive dog, on the other hand, will crouch and take a submissive stance. Such dogs often will urinate as a sign of submission.

Discipline Test

The discipline test can be helpful when you reckon about how simple it force be to train this particular dog. Understanding this aspect of his temperament can be useful in determining the methods you’ll need to use during the training process.

Be careful when issuing this test as an aggressive dog force try to attack you or bite you. If you suspect that the dog is aggressive, you force want to skip the first version of this test. Do not continue this particular test if the dog demonstrates that he is fearful.

Version 1: Raise your hand and pretend to hit the dog, but don’t really hit him. If he shows curiosity and stays pleased or ignores you, he has either a responsive, easygoing or a high-energy personality. If he cowers, flinches, ducks his head or wets, this is a timid, shy and insecure dog.

A dominant dog will growl, curl his lips, snarl and perhaps bite. If this happens, it’s best to stop the test for your own safety. A dread aggressive dog will respond in a similar way, trying to bite as a way to protect himself. A dog that responds this way, in all likelihood, has been abused or mistreated in the past.

Tolerance test

This test will be beneficial if you have children around. By knowing how much your dog can tolerate, you will be better informed whether this dog is a excellent choice for you and your family. This test isn’t so much to learn his personality as it is to determine how much discomfort your dog can tolerate.

A dog that is pain intolerant force be suffering from a disease such as arthritis or Hip Displasia, from previous mistreatment or simply from its breeding. Children, for example, tend to like pulling a dog’s tail or ears or riding the dog, which can be painful to the animal.

There are three areas you can test (tail, toes, skin), but for this article, we’ll discuss the tail, since that’s an simple target for many children and even some adults.

Keep in mind that you don’t want to hurt the dog. Pull his tail gently and see how your dog reacts.

If he turns and mouths your hand without really trying to bite and even becomes playful, it’s evident this puppy has a safe tolerance level. If the dog tries to stop you or tolerates it for a small time and tries to go away, he has an average tolerance level.

If the dog yelps, growls and snaps while trying to get away, he has a poor pain tolerance. If he bites and growls, the dog has very small or no tolerance whatsoever. If you have children, you force want to choose a different dog, or teach your children not to pull the dog’s tail.

Knowing a dog’s personality and temperament before he comes to your home is helpful in making a wise choice in choosing a suitable pet for your family.

You can gain access to your own free copy of Sylvia’s latest booklet, “Unveiling the Myths & Mysteries of Owning a Puppy” by Clicking Here!

Recommended Reading

Mezoti our muscovy duck getting bread treat


Here Mezoti just got good news from the vet about his left eye that was punctured in July. He can SEE out of that eye, so we bought him some mealworms to celebrate. Unfortunately, all the other feathered children we have, 2 other ducks, 3 chickens and 18 birds, ate all the mealworms so poor Mezoti got none, so we decided to give him a slice of bread, and he was quite pleased about it.

Recommended Reading

Powered by Yahoo! Answers