Ducks At A Distance

I have a joke! Sorry it is so long!?

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the desk, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a second or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your pet has passed away.”

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. The duck is dead,” he answered.

“How can you be so sure”, she protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He force just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a pair of Labrador Retrievers. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dogs stood on their hind legs, place their front paws on the examination desk and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. They then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook their heads. The vet patted the dogs, took them out of the room and returned a few moments later with a gorgeous cat. The cat jumped up on the desk and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most certainly, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, subdue in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried. “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Reports and the Cat Scan, it all adds up.”
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The Hunter’s Best Friend: a Gundog

When it comes to the sport of hunting – the gundog is certainly a hunter’s best friend.  Gundogs have been used to help man since the days when survival crucially depended on hunting skills, not only for food to eat, but for clothing and shelter provided by the hides of the hunted animals and to this day bird dogs subdue play an vital role in hunting for sport.

Originally bred with the intention of assisting game bird hunting, the characteristics of gundogs have, over the years, been strengthened by further breeding with animals by now showing the necessary traits for hunting. Gundogs (also known as hunting dogs or bird dogs) are intelligent, active and alert breeds, easily trained for a variety of sporting uses such as hunting game birds and waterfowl, showing the hunter where the game birds are
located, startling the birds into the open for the hunter and retrieving the shot or injured birds and taking them back to the hunter. These hunting dogs like life around humans, and they require a fantastic deal of attention and strenuous exercise.  Some hunting dogs are used specifically to work in water, some only on land, whilst others are capable of working in both of these environments.

Gundogs can be divided into three categories, the retriever, the pointer and setter, and the flusher dog and listed below are the roles played by each of these types of dog.

The Retriever Dog

Ideally equipped with their water-repellant coat and webbed feet, the Retriever, as its name would suggest, will find the bird and take it back to the hunter.  The Retriever is particularly suited to work in water. Labrador Retrievers, Golden Retrievers and Irish Water Spaniels are well loved breeds for the Retriever category.

The Pointer and Setter Dogs

These two types of dogs are used where game is distributed over a wide area, for example on moors.  They operate quite a distance away from their handlers and upon locating the game birds will wait for the hunter to get close enough to shoot.  In order to let the hunter know they have located the game, and without really causing any disturbance which may alert the game, the dog will remain subdue and rigid, in effect pointing in the direction of the game.  When the hunter arrives on the scene, he will command the dog to flush the game, thus presenting his sporting target.  Once shot, the dog will be expected to retrieve the game and deliver it to the hunter. English and Irish setters and English Pointers are the main breeds in this category.

The Flusher Dog

The flusher will not really capture his prey but will creep around the undergrowth to hunt and then when he has found his quarry he will crouch in front, in a guarding manner, so there is small or no chance of escape, allowing the hunter to take his quarry. Examples of dog breeds in this category are Springer Spaniels, Cocker Spaniels and Field Spaniels.

Information on guinea pig facts can be found at the Guinea Pig Breeds site.

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